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Things to Address Before I start this Blog.
1. Yes Chose dancing cats, I like cats and it made ME laugh (you laughed I’m happy and if thing it’s weird oh well it’s my blog #shanekiddshrug)
2. I have not been writing for a while because I’ve been writing for other people
3. I miss doing my own blog because I cant insert my randomness i.e. anything I put in parenthesis
So Why the title because after hanging with my single friends that long to be with someone, reading my friend’s blogs on relationships, and feeling like there are some things that never get addressed I realized that this whole pursuit thing feels a Junior High dance. Think about girls and guys waiting for each other to make a move and the dance is not that smooth but slightly awkward. Maybe you agree, maybe you don’t but this blog is more of discussion piece than taking stance.
So big reason things feel awkward is because Christian guys (will use the name Cliff to represent them) like a certain Christian girl (will use Claire). The issues Cliff is nervous to tell Claire, so Claire feel that Cliff is a coward and that’s how the story goes (The END, yeah right). There is more to this story sometimes than that basic idea.
First guys, don’t scared of rejection yes it sucks but it happens. Rejection come with the fact we are the ones to take initiative, we may not get what we want. Also there’s nothing wrong with taking your time especially since this a decision you CANNOT take lightly, your goal should be to marry this person (and if you ain’t seat yourself down). Also make your intentions clear if you just want to get to know Claire better because you’re attracted to her let that be known or if you want a Court/Date (whatever word you folks wanna use I don’t care a more) let that be known. Also having lunch or coffee one time doesn’t mean you or her have to commit to something y’all may not be compatible (aka y’all can’t deal with y’all difference in a relationship setting).
Now lets talk about Claire. let’s be clear Cliff being coward is not only reason he’s not approaching you. Honestly Cliff may not like you in that way and he’s just a nice guy or realize you’re cool friend but y’all would not be relationally compatible. Passivity also is among Claire because I’ve know few of them that have left their Cliffs confused. Saying I’m not sure, I don’t know, and I’m not ready but you’ll be upset about being still or end up with another guy and never tell Cliff (these are real stories I don’t make this up). Claire just like I told Cliff to be clear I’m tell you BE CLEAR, if you not interested and don’t want him to pursue let it be known or if you ACTUALLY to seeing if there’s more let that be known.
In Closing I feel the passivity of both men and women have made things harder they need to be. We both need to know want we want, be patience and be clear. Hope you got something out this. So please enjoy your singleness, Love Jesus, and treat each other right.
Learn 2 Live
This is one those can’t win blogs because I’m single I don’t have “weight” to say this statement and if I was married it would seem like a contradiction. If these are the reasons I can’t win then they affirm the title of this blog “Marriage is Overrated”. But let’s put this in proper perspective before we go further I’m not saying marriage is a bad thing because that’s not the definition of the word overrated. The word Overrated is “to rate or appraise too highly” which is what has happened with marriage, we have turn a good thing into an ultimate thing.
Why do I believe so is because of the way Married Christians have treated Single Christians.
1. Being made to feel you not a complete man or woman if you’re not married
2. Being asked why aren’t you married by now
3. Being told your domestic habit will improve with marriage
4. Being told true sanctification is found in marriage
Having to hear these things you can begin to think I need to get married to make me the best Christian I can possible be. Which is not true and distorts the Gospel. The Gospel shows us that Christ is the one who redeems mankind and through the work of the Spirit as we trust and believe in the finish work of Christ we will be Sanctified or set apart of God’s purposes.
Please don’t get the idea I’m anti-marriage because Marriage is a good and Godly thing and can be a means for us to progress in maturity as Christians but it’s not the only way. If marriage is the arrival point we have created a class system where singleness is 2nd class, which removes the idea we have equal value in Christ. There are various reasons a person may be single sometimes we make choosing a spouse difficult but if someone is single God wants them to be single, how long? Only the Lord knows. But that doesn’t mean we push people into marriage unless you have people in relationships dragging their feet. Christians single or married should encourage the proper stewardship of time with relationship regardless what kind.
Marriage is not our final destination it won’t even exist in Heaven “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Mark 12:25). So what’s the proper view of marriage then? Ideally marriage is temporal covenant (covenant meaning promise or agreement) between husband and wife that is to reflect the Love Christ has for the Church, the Church not meaning a building but a people God has called out and gave the life of His son for, so they can have eternal life and fellowship with Him. So that means marriage is lifelong commitment to learn how to give and receive unconditional love between one another, interesting enough we can learn this without marriage but difference is the level of commitment and you just can’t chuck deuces we things don’t go your way, Cause Christ doesn’t leave His Bride and God’s chosen people can’t leave him. Side note: this should make you not take marriage lightly and don’t Idolize.
Look at Jesus Christ he’s was the most fully human person better put he was human perfection and He was not married. So if God the Son can partake in this world and be infinitely whole without marriage then those of us who are single should strive to follow the footsteps of our master and Find our wholeness in Him.